| OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111111111111111111111111111111one |
[16 Nov 2004|05:07pm] |
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Mushroomhead - Our Own Way |
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,mv;ldskmlvcxmzkl;vx kdjcv;klxmv; vodffv vcvlkds;v vosckc xcdmv;c?~!?!?!?d cmnidvidskcdc?@!E?qw e1/2E1@ergfcdgksdavsfdamgv;lscmfklbmsdkfm bmklfdhn.... kgd.... dvsd.. ..fgvsd. vawsfg.rvd.c. . fv.fvs.ad. g.tkhgknshg nvkjgvkns kgna lk;r~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!@12?!?@/`sfdaEFQ
Half-Life2 Released today.
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[15 Nov 2004|09:18pm] |
I just got offered a ride to MFF earlier.
$35 for the entire con.
$100, almost for spending money.
Me = No Money
Should I be sad that my family is uneducated, and unwealthy?
Should I be pissed off at God(s) if there are any for not liking me?
Or should I be angry with myself for not being able to handle school?
I want to die.
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| Dreams.. |
[15 Nov 2004|06:35pm] |
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music |
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Primus - Mr. Krinkle |
] |
Sorry it took so long for me to post. I've been home since Friday, I've just had no real motivation to do.. anything, really.
I think I've been having nightmares, lately. Normally I don't ever remember the dreams I had during the night, which is normal for me, ofcourse. But sometimes I do wake up in the middle of the night scared, sweating, whatnot. But lately my tounge, and the insides of my cheeks are bruised from me biting, and/or gnawing on them. But I don't do either so it has to be during my sleep.. Maybe my nightmares are getting worse? No clue. I'll find out, sooner or later when I actually remember.
Thats about it.. Other then wasting up physical space I'm not doing anything except continuing my search for a job this week.
Farewell.
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Stolen from ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) purple_tigey... |
[10 Nov 2004|11:41am] |
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System of a Down - Virginity |
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Before getting to the silly quiz thing, I just wanted to put in my last post for a few days since I'm going to Richmond for a while. Atleast I won't have to look for a job there anymore, 'eh? Tomorrow I'm getting my contacts buffed. They really need it, I can tell.
Also going to try and work for a few family members, see if I can get a little money to spend for myself, I really need it. I need another stick of memory for my computer, only 256 now since my last stick fried along with my HDD. Aggrivates the piss out of me since I downloaded 'Medal of Honor: Pacific Assault - Directiors Edition' or whatever. I spend more fucking time loading the levels then what I do playing them. Even with every form of audio/video quality to minimum, even going into my Video Card's software and turning the preformance up and the quality down! Very dissappointing. I spent about $450 on this baby, and since then spent atleast $100 for repaiors/upgrades, and its already outdated. ;/
EDIT: Forgot to mention. I'm going to the welfare office before Richmond. So everyone say YAY for welfare! :D
( Who luffs me?! :D )
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| Woo-Bah? |
[09 Nov 2004|03:56pm] |
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mood |
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ditzy |
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music |
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System of a Down - P.L.U.C.K. |
] |
I'm feeling much better. Maybe because I only had three hours of sleep since yesterday. Who knows? Anyways.. Not much to post, waiting for dad to get home so we can go to the laundrymat.
( Some stupid pictures.. )
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| Consuming time, running in place... |
[08 Nov 2004|01:23pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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Mushroomhead - Xeroxed |
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I'm feeling a little better today. I still need to get off my ass and finish unpacking..That'll most likely wait until dad gets home, since this is all the time I have by myself at home alone. Not only that, but once he gets home he will want to use my computer. Which I hadn't gotten rid of my old PC and given him that one, would've been nice. Oh well.
Pretty hungry right now, but there isn't anything around here to eat unless I cook. Can't do that, though. We have no pots, pans, or anything. Just bowls, plates, and silverware. Argness.
Last night I was already sick of living here. I can't do anything without anyone watching me, its a bit annoying. At my old place, My room was so quiet.. ( asides form my music. ) Asides from me no one ever went into my room. I can only think of three occassions when somone did.
I'm almost eighteen, though. Hopefully I can get a good job in Richmond, and get my own place, that'd be neat.
--
dirty_baka was nice, and drew me a picture. 'course she drew a picture for anyone who commented on that picticular picture. But mine was special, 'cause it included T.S.F. ( The Snively Fox ) I'm gonna make her RP him for me again, soon. :X If not I'll unleash my horrific nipple power upon her, and destroy the world. Muhahaha...ahaha.. Ah.. fuck, I'm insane.
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| Evidence |
[07 Nov 2004|05:09pm] |
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mood |
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 lonely |
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music |
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Mushroom Head - Destroy the World Around Me |
] |
The entire reason me and dad moved was because his g/f at the time didn't want to live with us, or be with him anymore. Dad didn't really want to be around her regardless.. but he is the epitome of a 'red-blooded man'. So expressing his feelings is blasphemy. So, he was happy that we were able to leave. She offered no help to us, ofcourse of getting our stuff to our new place. But she had us help her today. When she told us to leave. I didn't mind, but I thought it was utter bullshit, still.
I've been feeling down lately. Only person I can physically see, or speak to is dad, asides for when I go to Richmond, but even then it doesn't even last, and with the effort I make torwards seeing my friends there they don't show the same effort back torwards me. Though I don't blame Paul since he has a good job, but.. He hasn't ever tried to contact me.
--Most people don't know but I'm a closet-case. I'd never lie about my sexuality but, I wouldn't ever admit it, not atleast to somone in, or close to my family. Because if my dad knew, I'd be living on the streets, and I've done that to many times to want to do it again. But I'd like to go to some sort of convention. I plan on doing it myself once I get my life straight, but god knows how long that is going to take. I just feel like my entire life I've never been able to be who I want to be. My difference as a person isn't an exact issue, because I would act the same infront of those whom knew my sexuality, the same as I would around those who didn't. I don't think it is really as much as that thats been bothering me lately. Mostly its been loneliness. Despite Andrew, I don't think I've eer had a serious relationship with anyone, ever. I've dated a few girls, sure.. But other then Andrew I've never been in a relationship that has lasted longer then a week.
I'm just going to try and forget about it, seems like thinking about it only makes it worse, but then I feel something missing deep inside of me.
I can't find the damn tablet thingie that my dad's ex-g/f gave to me. I think I left it in my gramp's truck that me and dad were using to move with.. Ah well, I'll find it sooner or later.
Tomorrow will be my first day alone at my new apartment.. Thank fucking GOD. My little sister, and her friend have been here bugging the shit out of me. Tomorrow I've got a lot of house work to do, then off to look for a job somewhere around here.
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| Seven hours |
[06 Nov 2004|12:27pm] |
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bitchy |
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Rammstein - Amerika |
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Seven hours, seven fucking hours yesterday of doing nothing but moving. Why do you ask? Despite it just being me, and my father, we had no help, from anyone. We never asked for it, ofcourse. But a couple people did offer their help but never showed. Not a big deal, me and him were still poroud. Not only taking us that long was it because it was me and him, but our apartment is upstairs of a few stores on the strip of the town I was talking about. So the entire time we were lugging shit either up, or downstairs. ( Because at our old house, my bedroom was upstairs. ) Plus dad's back is hurting him bad.. A ciadic nerve, or something, the muscle keeps straining againts it, pinching it. He said if he didn't get better he'd be getting shots for it, but as a last resort, because ofcourse.. shots in the spine don't feel to good. Plus I hadn't slept the night before so halfway through it, I was hallucinating from all of the exhaustion, as well as sleep deprivation.
On a lighter note? ..Eheh.. can't think of one, really. Except that I'll be getting another job within a week, or two. Atleast this time, I won't have to walk alongside of a highway for an hour to get there. Bastards.
My sister is over for the weekend with her friend, annoying brats, but they aren't as bad as they could be.
Wensday I'm going to Richmond, going to stay there for a few days to get away from home.. Eh.
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| V = V-a-g-i-n-a |
[03 Nov 2004|06:13pm] |
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mood |
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content |
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Rammstein - Amour |
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Got some more stuff moved into my new apartment. Not gonna be great with Kris around, but won't be bad, either. See, she is.. well.. a little 'off'. Not that there is anything wrong with that, ofcourse. I'm way off. But she just acts like she is bi-polar. Growing up with my mom, and step-dad beating the shit out of each other, me, my sister, brother, drunk all the time, not to mention both of them being bi-polar.. I can't handle that stuff ever again.
Bottom line? We're moving, me and dad by ourselves again. But I hate the town we're going to be living in. Its small, but is filled with racist wiggers. ( Yes, those sort of morons are out there. ) They always hang out on the 'strip' with modded cars, bumping rap, standing on street corners, in parking lots, yelling all the time, etc. Not to mention we live on the strip. Our apartment is upstairs from a store there. Ofcourse I'll be getting a job, but thats going to kill me, heheh.
Downloaded Men of Valor. What a fuckin' dissappointment. With all these new Vietnam games coming out its the same shit over, and over again. Though BF:Vietnam was okay.. But Shellshock 'Nam '67 was the fucking shit. That is a good game and people need to play it for that fact alone.
Goddamn'it.. I wish I had a vagina, masterbation with a penis gets old, very quick.
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| Hey everyone! Lick my wang! |
[03 Nov 2004|04:03am] |
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Slipknot - Liberate |
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I was going for a year, but I guess I can't so here I am, yet again. :D Nothing that much different. I'm moving by Friday, just little shit everyday until then. Since dad and Kris broke up. But since I'll be atleast in a little shitty hicktown, I might actually get a job. Fucked up thing is that everyone there is racist.. but 90% of them are wiggers. Does ANYONE in the fucking town there find anything wrong with that? I don't mind if your racist as long as you don't put your hands on someone that done nothing wrong to you.. But to say you hate niggers, then drive down the street blaring rap out of your car? Thats.. thats one of the most ignorant things I think I've ever seen, or heard done.
I'm hungry as a bitch. Hungry for DEATH Muhahaha. Right.. Nah, I'll just make some Easy Mac whenever everyone leaves for work and I'm alone. For right now I'm just gonna chat with Spug. But you know what? I need to get back into Final Fantasy XI again.
Good luck to me on moving stuff.
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| Gangster Preacher? |
[24 Apr 2004|07:34pm] |
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mood |
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 accomplished |
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Mushroom Head - Kill Tomorrow |
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Beat Splinter Cell: Pandora tomorrow. It only took me a couple of days, it as much shorter, and even easier then the first.. so it was sort of dissappointing. But I'm still happy about it. Now to beat it in 'Hard' mode.
I wish there was something to do around here. With the hours I'm awake, and asleep the only person I really ever talk to is Spug. I just RP with everyone else. Jeff has been real touchy lately, making me upset, throwing me into guilt trips because he thinks I don't like him anymore. Argness.
When my mom is off next I'll be going to school for a couple of hours. I called and figured out I have to do three things to get my G.E.D. Erm, actually just take three tests. An assessment test, a practice test, and then finally the test itself. I'm not sure about getting my liscense yet, though. I think I have to get my G.E.D. first so the school can confirm to the branch that I actually went there.
Need to decide on which game to download next.. Maybe playing Battlefield: Vietnam will help..
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| Ow. x.x; |
[20 Apr 2004|07:21pm] |
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drained |
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Rammstein - Sonne |
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Well, yet another decent birthday. Usually its the only good time of year. For me, anyways.
Spug drew me a nice picture, it was pretty cute. xD I spent yesterday, and pretty much all of today in Richmnond since my sister is incredibly slow. I should'ver been home four hours ago. Hopefully dad doesn't get pissy.
So, yeah. Not much of anything else.
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| Three days before armeggedon |
[16 Apr 2004|06:28am] |
My birthday is coming up in three days. I'm surprised I've come this far in life as it is.. I wanna be fourteen again. ;-; Oh well, atleast if I survive one more year.. just one more, I can prove my dad wrong when he told me that "You are either going to be in jail, or dead by the time your eighteen." Looks like I'm going to win.. I hope.
You can ask me any 3 questions you would like.. No more, no less. Ask me anything you want.
Then you can go to your journal if you want, and copy and paste this allowing your friends (including myself) to ask you anything.
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| Dognuts, or doughnuts? |
[11 Apr 2004|05:08pm] |
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System of a Down - D-Devil |
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Stayed with my buddy Paul a couple days ago. The first time I got drunk in about three months, me and him drank a half gallon of vodka. We were pretty fuckin' smashed.
I helped him outside so he could puke, and after he did, he fell fucking face first into the ground,. blackedout completely. I couldn't help him up, I couldn't breath because I was laughing to hard.
Earlier while he was drunk Paul was made by Eric to do pushups, he smacked his head off of one of those stationary bikes to exercise on, and broke the guage, and bell off of it. Dumbass.
I got to play RE: Outbreak while I was there, yet another dissappointment. The character's AI is fucking STUPID. They didn't even try to work on it. And once again Resident Evil made a game with the most horrible camera angles ever devised. Resident Evil 2 was the only one I ever even really liked.
Happy Easter by the way.
Going to my sister's house tonight, staying there. Dunno what the hell I'm going to do there its boring..
Sorry I dissapeered last night, Spug! I'll make it up to you, I promise!
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| OMFG |
[06 Apr 2004|05:17pm] |
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amused |
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System of a Down - Highway Song |
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Wanna know the only thing that pisses me off about Andrew?
HE LIES OUT HIS ASS
Everytime somone homophobic comes into his life, and they say something to him, he gets pissed off but here is an example. "He made a name on HAlo called 'homo hunter'. I was really pissed off at him when he started saying 'fag' and 'gay' a lot. I wanted to kick his ass, but blah blah blah, and because blah blah blah.'
Andrew can't beat SHIT. He couldn't even beat his fucking DICK off much less somone's ass. WTF is his problem? He tries impressing people for fucks sake by acting like a hardass.
HE TOLD ME HIMSELF HE IS TO SCARED TO FIGHT ANYONE, EVER.
It drives me fucking nuts. I'm just glad I know where he lives. Before I go off to live with Spug I'm gonna stop at his job, or work on the way there and stomp his fucking ass. You know what he'll do? He cry like a little bitch, and won't even fight back, then he'd call the police to have me arrested.
Andrew is a lying, punk ass, scared little bitch.
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| Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk |
[04 Apr 2004|12:05am] |
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I love AMC for only one reason.. They occassionally have The Three Stooges marathons. On reight now. I never get tired of them. They make me laugh so hard.
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| And then Paul became ripe. |
[03 Apr 2004|01:19am] |
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System of a Down - Mind |
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I haven't been around much at all lately because I had a couple friends over for a while. Since afterall I hardly get to see any of them. Other then that I caught further back on XI, a lot actually.
I took a bunch of pictures while I was in Richmond, but somone got ahold of my camera and deleted them all. Damn'it.
I'm tired, damn'it. I'm mad 'cause I haven't been able to talk to anyone much lately.
I'm sorry.
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| Grrworworrwr.. |
[30 Mar 2004|07:37am] |
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annoyed |
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System of a Down - P.L.U.C.K. |
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Last night I spent about a half of in an hour standing in the same spot while my screeamed at me at the top of his lungs. Kinda pisses me off.. My friend Paul was there, too. He still is, but sleewpin' in my sis's bed. But that was the second time Paul seen my dad act like that and I've known him for about four years.. and Paul was scared more last night then the first time. Paul thinks I'm the hardest motherfucker he knows because I step up to my dad and just stare at him like he's stupid while he yells at me like that. He always threatens to hit me. I wish he would've last night, then I would of called a police officer, then my friend Paul was right there and a witness. So was my dad's g/f.. I'm not sure if she would tell the truth, or not.. Most likely she would have.
He just pisses me off, humiliating me infront of my friends by yelling at me like that. Whenever we're neutral with one another he'd always tell me how worthless I am, and what such a good for nothing I've become, I just smile at him and say "Well, thanks for raising me that way, and giving me the genes!" But that usually ends up with him throwing me into a wall, or hitting me. -growl-
On a lighter note, I'm able to send our concert tape to Spug today.. I'll be workin' at my grandpa's house to make some cash, too. Downloaded BF: Vietnam all the way... its an awesome fucking game, too.
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| FUCKINGWHOREBITCHCUNTCOCKINGFAGGOT! |
[28 Mar 2004|11:45am] |
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System of a Down - I.E.A.I.A.I.O. |
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Gar!!!
I spent hour trying to download Battlefield: Vietnam, which is impossible to find with a fast server to download from. It was about 76% done.. and it fucking FAILED. Its a three dicsced game so that was about 1.25 GBs. I'm pissed... Gar.
My back is killing me, too. I don't know what I done to it, feels like it got bashed with a sledgehammer, hopefully it'll start feeling better before Tuesday I'm gonna go do some labor work for my grandpa to make some cash.
When my dad and his g/f leave I'm gonna get some whisky, and get drunk.. I haven't drank in a while, and things right now aren't going that great, and it'd be nice to get a good buzz.
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| Virtual Masterbation |
[27 Mar 2004|12:49am] |
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mood |
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annoyed |
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System of a Down - Peephole |
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Its been a while since I p-osted, been annoyed with things, and been having major problems with my computer, butI got it fixed now... I think.
I HAVE to make an avatar but my mind is simply empty, as always. Theres a bunch of stuff that I need to be doing but I always end up putting it off and playing a game, oi. I plan on taking care of stuff tonight, though.
I'm pretty sure tommorow morning, or afternoon sometime I'll be going into Richmond with my mom, she always takes me to my friends' houses. If I end up going to Paul's I'll most likely have him come back and let him stay the night. He's more addicted to the Final Fantasy game series then anyone I know, and since he doesn't have a computer, Broadband, or enough to buy the PS2 version of XI he'kll sit here for two days straight and do nothing but play it. Oh well.
I'm just hoping I can get some stuff done tonight.. after... I play a few rounds of Call of Duty. x)
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